Thursday, April 06, 2006

In Dreams...

I had a dream wherein I broke one of my bamboo #2 double pointed sock needles (currently engaged in the Mamluke Socks).
The wood was jaggedly splintered and snapped right in the middle. This dream comes straight from my anxiety over my tight knitting on smaller and smaller needles. Like perhaps the tighter and smaller my hold on things, the more control exerted over craft and life, the more tension and less breath... Can only lead to the snapping and destruction of all my work.
I need to relax.
I also noticed yesterday that I would only take a deep breath after each needle (20, 20, 20, and 10 stitches each). I don't think I was holding my breath as I knit, but if I was breathing, it was shallow. A looser hold on yarn, looser stitches, looser breathing... I am, after all, knitting the name of God.
Perhaps it is genetic: In my dream, my father recommended wood glue, a vice, and sandpaper to repair the needle. My mother suggested tossing the bamboo and using aluminum needles. My friend suggested:
Your father believes more in fixing what is broken, whereas your mom feels that if something fails once, it is doomed to fail again, so might as well start over with something better suited to the task.

My mother doesn't enjoy frogging her work back at all. My father will doggedly pursue a task to completion, not sleeping, swearing a blue streak the whole time.
Can we have both forgiveness and perfection?

Photo is Mom's dpn's (metal, background) and my dpn's (bamboo, foreground).

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