Sock Wars: I'm Dead.

Agent Kel, following check-in procedure.
Status of Agent: Dead. Toe-up. Toe-tagged. Six-Feet-under, no-longer-kicking. Appeal for assistance, backup, safehouse, or a leg-up were kicked to the curb. Although intel foretold immanent death, was still a kick in the gut.
Assassination package delivered via the foot-soldiers of the United States Postal Service (Level of involvement in mission by this government agency still undetermined). Confirming sock death as of Post Office opening Thursday October 5th 0830 HST (1830 Zulu).
Method of assassination: Sock. Lovely creamsicle orange socks in Dale of Norway Svale Cotton/Viscose/Silk! (And lovely handmade stitch markers! And crafty goodies! And wool-wash!)

Agent of Assassination: The very precise and talented KAT!
Status of Agent's own mission: Complete. Socked-it-to-her! Target acquired, knitted-for, and assassinated via UPS. Confirmation received Friday September 29th 1530 hours EST (2030 Zulu). Method of assassination: Sock. Wooly fuzzy fawn-colored sock!
Agent Footnote: How fun was all this? Props to Yarn Monkey for the great idea and all the wild and wooly organization amid hurricane Gordon! Anyone for getting a foot in the door for Sock Wars II?