Friday, October 13, 2006

Study of a Man-Who-Doesn't-Knit, and a Woman who Does

Subject appears to have all the proper qualities for the ideal mate-of-knitter:

  • Is very enthusiastic of knitted projects. Asks questions. Gives praise. Thinks I am overly smart and talented.
  • Is very appreciative of knitted gifts.
  • Is manly, tall, handsome and well-built, but posseses non-huge feet and non-huge shoulders. Could conceivably be outfitted in knitwear relatively quickly and cheaply.
  • Adores Aran cables and all things Irish due to family heritage. Wears Aran cables on his rings. I could knit all things cabled and the entire Alice Starmore collection, and he would never tire of them. Likes Green.
  • Wears lots of different colors and fibers.
  • Wears socks every day. Wears socks I knit him only in the house on comforting occasions.

However, Subject has exhibited recent worrisome behavior.

  • When I was ripping out the Kyoto, did not understand what I was doing. Thought I was "just being annoying" or deliberately attempting to distract him from his book with strange repetitive winding motions.
  • Accused me of knitting in a huff, or knitting to avoid paying attention to him. Not true! Just need to have hands working, and after my attentions were rejected, yes, turned to knitting. But never in a huff! (Can't do cables in a huff! Have you seen Bayerische? Really!)
  • Lives in a non-wool environment. Well, okay, so do I. Scratch this one. Hawaii is a knitting desert for men. (No sweaters, scarves, hats, lacey shawls, purses...Socks and dishtowels is about it for men. Knitted golf-club cozy?)

Now, it is a given that a mate-of-knitter can't reject the knitting. Immediate Lemon-law would be enacted, Sweater curse would make it's magic, over, done, etc. But what we have here is not a rejection of the knitting (see above: he is very appreciative). Nor is it just ignorance of the knitting (he asks questions, I provide short answers, the rest comes with time.) No. What we have here is use of the knitting, and not in a woolen-hat-on-a-cold-day kind of way. He sees the knitting as not just knitting, but an escape I use to ignore him or show my displeasure. Knitting as substitute for marching off in an angry huff, or turning my back on him and pretending to be asleep.

All charges I deny vehemently.

And yet... Perhaps I am using the knitting as well. Obviously we have some tension (Not guage-tension. Emotional tension. Much harder to fix.) and some communication issues. I think he doesn't want attention so I knit to, you know, knit. He thinks I am mad and knitting to ignore him. So we are using the knitting as excuse or communication tool...

And I am using the knitting right here. I'm not addressing the real issues, but instead drawing the line and faulting his criticism of the knitting. Knitting is not our problem, nor is it a good excuse for either of us. And when it all ends, will I blame the sweater-curse? Blaming a sweater would be way easier than really examining our problems, now wouldn't it?

Kyoto body is ripped out, finally. After much measuring, calculating, and swatch-manipulation, I faced the fact that the sweater was just too damn big and there was nothing to be done about it. Consoling knitters on Wednesday night helped me rip part of it, I did the rest, well, see above. Bayerische Sock #1 has it's heel turned and I am about halfway down the foot. Plan on casting on the second sock immediately to avoid the "second sock syndrome". Although I have never experienced SSS on a sock before, I still only have one celadon green silk and mohair glove. Third on the list is, of course, the second glove. Fourth? Maybe I will begin a green Aran BF sweater, just to really put the nail in the coffin of the relationship.


keohinani said...

funny, i always wondered if the bf sweater curse was true and thought about knitting one just to see. unless a man knits, he won't understand knitting. i don't blame the knitting, though, and it seems like your Subject's idea of quality time is when you both relish in each other's company instead of diffusing it elsewhere.
best of luck on that one...

Stilaholic Nartian knits said...

Maybe an earthquake will change your bf's perspective? In any case, hope you and your family got through fine when it hit.

somebunnysloveDOTcom said...

Hmm. My DH plays his computer games, I blog and knit. However, every once in a while we do sit down with each other to watch our beloved sports, and at least we both understand our hobbies' draw. Maybe in time it will be the same for you all.

Kel said...

Thank you all! He hasn't quite come around to being nice yet, even with the earthquake! Although he sent a few messages to check on me. We shall see. Oddly enough, one of the points of contention was my sweet little pad, which is all a shambles and covered in broken glass now. Much aloha to you all for commenting!