Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Reasons the Harlot Should Come to Hawaii

A list for Jayme-the-wonder-publicist. (Aloha to all y'all who are following the link from Stephanie's blog!)

  1. Canadian winter. I hear it is cold. Grey. Miserable. You wouldn't want The Talent to get those winter blahs, would you?
  2. Careful reading of Stephanie's books reveals one skein of wool purchased in Hawaii, stashed as a travel memoir, and testament to the rarity and somewhat uselessness of wool in Hawaii. We wouldn't want that skein to get lonely, would we? Not when we have Hawaii Homegrown Wool Company for roving!
  3. Aloha Knitters Group: They meet on Oahu, have blogs, have a Ravelry group, and would love to host a Harlot party! Those of us on outer islands are obsessed enough to fly to Oahu, the "Gathering Place". They have bookstores there. Plenty of chairs, I am sure. If they don't have enough chairs, we can sit on the ground. It isn't like there is snow on the ground or anything!
  4. We are starved for attention. We just assume no one ever wants to come all the way out here to visit us. The truth is, we have one of the most beautiful States in the Union. Beaches, volcanos, mountains, jungles, cattle plains, even snow on the top of Mauna Kea. We love hosting guests. (I shouldn't really have to work this hard to sell it, right? I mean, it is HAWAII fergawdssakes!)
  5. Kona Coffee. Vats of it. You can go to where it is grown and roll around in the freshly plucked berries. You can tour coffee plantations and drink all the samples you want. We also have beer (Kona Brewing Company, Mehana Brewery, etc.) and copious vegetarian food including Macadamias, Guavas, Papayas, Cocoa Pods, Pineapple, coconut, taro, breadfruit...
  6. Flights are very reasonable, especially in the middle of winter from the West Coast. There aren't a ton of them, so they don't leave at horrid times in the morning, which would lessen the chances of needing to awaken at 3 in the morning. (And if they were early, see #5 above: KONA COFFEE. Did I mention the coffee?)
  7. Eyelash Yarn. Sold everywhere and used for those ubiquitous fuzzy leis. Save us. Seriously. We will fan you with banana leaves and leave you offerings of chocolate covered Kona coffee beans.
  8. I can promise you no snakes. I can't do anything about the spiders- sorry. However, I can promise that there are many people here with crazier, fuzzier, bigger, frizzier hair than you. Humidity + Ocean water (currently the ocean is 80 degrees Fahrenheit) means big hair is the trend.
  9. Hawaii State Washcloths! How shall you ever complete your collection unless we lure you here! Think how exotic they would be! (Eyelash yarn? Heh.)
  10. A chance to actually find out if that knitted bikini holds up in warm ocean water. Imagine the blogging possibilities!
  11. Finally: (Jayme... don't you get to come with on at least some of the tour dates? Choose wisely. That's all I'm saying.)
Stephanie: Thank you for your words and your community-building spirit. Knitters who stop by: This list is for you as well. Come visit us! Bring your knitting!


Taphophile said...

Great list, Mel - I may have to adapt it for why her Harlotness should come to Australia. :)

Judy H. said...

Oh, do I love Kona coffee!!! I discovered a deep, abiding, passionate love for it when I visited Hawaii in 2004. But I have to add to your list--you have wine! Maui Splash. I know the Harlot is a beer kind-of-gal, but I'm sure she'd enjoy the Splash, too. (And if she didn't, you could send her share to me.)

Holly Jo said...

You are right. There is no reason why should miss out on Hawaii! I mean if we can get her in Alaska CERTAINLY Hawaii deserves some love.

normanack said...

I hope the Harlot gets to visit both Hawaii and Australia, and gets to take her family with her!

Opal said...

Excellent reasons to get the Harlot over here. The Aloha Knitters might even knit a red carpet for her. ;-)

Rooie said...

I'll be there tomorrow. Is the guest room ready?

I'd love to visit Hawaii sometime...though I can't say I ever felt that way until I read your post. I think I just need a beach.

Kim said...

Oh that list is so wonderful...if only I could come to Hawaii!!! I hope that Jayme listens to you. We got to have the Harlot here in Utah last year and it was awesome! But, again, Utah is cold, Hawaii...not so much :)

dropped stitch 3 said...

Excellent post. I too wish I'd thought of it for Australia... but heck, you've sold me. I'm definitely coming to Hawaii (one day). There should be more travel agents/publicists who are knitters. They know just the angles to sell.

Carol Ann said...

Omigawd--what a vacation that would be--seeing the Harlot in Hawaii. I would die a happy woman.

Brown Berry said...

Well that just couldn't BE more tempting!
Will have to checks flights for next year - thanks for the invite!! :)

Kim said...

And it would be a great excuse for us fans to go to Hawaii!

HawaiianGirl said...

I have another reason to lure Stephanie there:

Hawai'i no ka 'oi!!

(Hawai'i: the best!!)

Not enough? K'den:

** She could learn some pidgin

** She could leave her coat at home

** She could shoot a video: The Yarn Harlot Demonstrates How To Knit White Snorkeling

** She could see the amazing Hawaiian sunsets, listen to Hawaiian music, and eat poi!

How'm I doing so far?