Reasons the Harlot Should Come to Hawaii

A list for Jayme-the-wonder-publicist. (Aloha to all y'all who are following the link from Stephanie's blog!)

1. Canadian winter. I hear it is cold. Grey. Miserable. You wouldn't want The Talent to get those winter blahs, would you?
2. Careful reading of Stephanie's books reveals one skein of wool purchased in Hawaii, stashed as a travel memoir, and testament to the rarity and somewhat uselessness of wool in Hawaii. We wouldn't want that skein to get lonely, would we? Not when we have Hawaii Homegrown Wool Company for roving!
3. Aloha Knitters Group: They meet on Oahu, have blogs, have a Ravelry group, and would love to host a Harlot party! Those of us on outer islands are obsessed enough to fly to Oahu, the "Gathering Place". They have bookstores there. Plenty of chairs, I am sure. If they don't have enough chairs, we can sit on the ground. It isn't like there is snow on the ground or anything!
4. We are starved for attention. We just assume no one ever wants to come all the way out here to visit us. The truth is, we have one of the most beautiful States in the Union. Beaches, volcanos, mountains, jungles, cattle plains, even snow on the top of Mauna Kea. We love hosting guests. (I shouldn't really have to work this hard to sell it, right? I mean, it is HAWAII fergawdssakes!)
5. Kona Coffee. Vats of it. You can go to where it is grown and roll around in the freshly plucked berries. You can tour coffee plantations and drink all the samples you want. We also have beer (Kona Brewing Company, Mehana Brewery, etc.) and copious vegetarian food including Macadamias, Guavas, Papayas, Cocoa Pods, Pineapple, coconut, taro, breadfruit...
6. Flights are very reasonable, especially in the middle of winter from the West Coast. There aren't a ton of them, so they don't leave at horrid times in the morning, which would lessen the chances of needing to awaken at 3 in the morning. (And if they were early, see #5 above: KONA COFFEE. Did I mention the coffee?)
7. Eyelash Yarn. Sold everywhere and used for those ubiquitous fuzzy leis. Save us. Seriously. We will fan you with banana leaves and leave you offerings of chocolate covered Kona coffee beans.
8. I can promise you no snakes. I can't do anything about the spiders- sorry. However, I can promise that there are many people here with crazier, fuzzier, bigger, frizzier hair than you. Humidity + Ocean water (currently the ocean is 80 degrees Fahrenheit) means big hair is the trend.
9. Hawaii State Washcloths! How shall you ever complete your collection unless we lure you here! Think how exotic they would be! (Eyelash yarn? Heh.)
10. A chance to actually find out if that knitted bikini holds up in warm ocean water. Imagine the blogging possibilities!
11. Finally: (Jayme... don't you get to come with on at least some of the tour dates? Choose wisely. That's all I'm saying.)

Stephanie: Thank you for your words and your community-building spirit. Knitters who stop by: This list is for you as well. Come visit us! Bring your knitting!